Wild Utah's Worst of the Ski Industry
OK, in the last issue we gave you the Wild Utah 10 best ski industry list. We didn’t want to be unfair and leave anyone out, so we racked our brains again and came up with our worst list. We think you’ll agree with our list, but if you can think of some thing that just pisses you off or that makes you all warm and toasty inside, send to email@example.com and we’ll run it.
Volant- Ski the steel. Come on, steel was supposed to be a hard, rigid material. Skiing a Volant is like a date with your cousin: long, slow, and gets you nowhere. Do yourself a favor; toss the steel and discover true engineering in Atomic, Volkl, or Fischer.
Corporate Policy- The death of fun in the ski industry. Who cares if a liftie has long hair and a nose ring?
Straight skis- We’ll be the first to tell you some of us were straight ski advocates at the beginning of the year. But the transition to the new technology has been sweet. Although there is still a place for the straighty, like moguls or hung on the wall, the new stuff is where it’s at.
One-piece suits- Folks, we are two decades past the eighties. Lets catch up here. We know you think the fagbag look is stylish—but trust us, the only contest you’re winnin’ is gaper of the year award.
Flourscent Colors- This often goes hand in hand with the above. There are some people walking around looking like the cast of “Hotdog.” Rule of thumb, if your friends can spot your efervescent glow from the other side of the mountain, you need some new duds.
Ego- You know, there are just too many asswipes in the ski industry who talk much better than they ski.
Avalanches- Now this is a serious matter. It seems that every year there is an avalanche tragedy, and this year is no exception. There is huge acreage of accessible backcountry in the area. So people please, know your stuff in the backcountry before you go, or go with someone who does.
Speed control- Ya maybe it’s important, but for those of us who only have one speed, a courtesy patrol waving his arms is just downright irritating. Baffles suck too.
Poor lift line manners- There’s just no excuse. Don’t let any of your equipment touch any of the equipment of the person in front of you. You move forward any faster than he or she is. Lift line manners seem to be much worse in Utah than Colorado
Flat landings- If you’re 18 or younger you won’t understand this. You might be clippin’ along and see a kicker, but the landing is the kind that rattles through the marrow. If you value you back and knees, you wouldn’t be skiing in the first place, but if you want to last as long as possible, lay off the flat landings and look for the steep and, ideally, the soft ones.