Thursday Night On KSL
by tommy kirchhoff
KSL is NBC's network affiliate in Salt Lake City. You grew up with NBC. And until you came to Utah, you thought NBC was a well-known friend. Over the years, you watched shows like (Cheers), and (Nightcourt); (Friends) and (Seinfeld); (Third Rock) and (Frasier). If you were in a typical, American family, you probably also grew up with (Saturday Night Live).
But not here in Utah! KSL seems to shrivel and eek at the thought of airing "risqué" shows like (SNL) and (God, the Devil and Bob). KSL reverently cuts this type of pagan programming. Their six o'clock news is like eating luke-cold soup. And in a state where polygamy and gross procreation are religiously accepted ways of life, KSL's TV Wise "heads-up" is a nauseating rating system that points out even the most trite sexual nuance. Oh my heck, KSL probably won't even mention Rum Raisin ice cream because "maybe you can get a buzz from it."
KSL is the most milquetoast NBC network affiliate in the country. You can't even figure out what's being cut anymore, unless you get to watch NBC regularly in another city. And after all this panty-waisted programming censure, you have to wonder if anyone at the station is watching the "Must See TV" on Thursday nights.
For example, take (Will and Grace). Will is a handsome, smooth-talking, single homosexual male on the prowl. Grace is a sexy, "new-age Lucile Ball-type" heterosexual nymph that happens to have much the same taste in men that Will has. Enter Jack. While the show has many hysterically funny characters, situations and one-liners, the flaming "Just Jack" takes the cake.
KSL, are you watching this? In a recent episode, Jack was very upset that his favorite NBC show didn't air the kiss of two homosexuals. Early one morning, Jack and Will go to Rockefeller Plaza to protest NBC's censure of the kiss with a network PR executive. When that fails, they go down onto the street where Al Roker is working the typically obnoxious, Today Show crowd. When Jack finally gets Al's attention, he tries to explain his problem with NBC's cutting of the kiss. In the throws of "live" TV, Will grabs Jack and lays a heavy, homo wet-one on him. Homosexuals kissing on TV. That's not a very Boyscout thing to air.
OK, well, that seemed a bit far out, and the kind of show you'd think KSL would certainly cut. But after (Will and Grace) is done, another sitcom starts: (Just Shoot Me).
Without going into the background details of the characters (because many of you know the show, and probably know (Will and Grace), Maya and Elliot used to be a thing. After some time together, they figure out that their relationship doesn't work. Elliot starts seeing another woman quite steadily; but a quiet photography studio and glancing touches turn into a passionate romp. Within minutes, Maya and Elliot are in the backseat of a red, 50's convertible, bangin' like a shithouse door. The car's shaking back and forth, and both characters are moaning, saying how wrong it is. Premarital sex, affairs with other women and impromptu fornication. Reads like an activity list from anywhere but Utah, right?
Later in the show, Maya and Elliot are scrumpin' again in the back of the same car. But this time, Elliot has just broken up with the other woman, so both characters are rocking and moaning and saying how right it is. Oh ya, there's also a another guy standing there watching these two screw, eating chocolates. Subtract affairs with other women, add voyeurism.
Maybe if the guy were eating Rum Raisin, the show would have been cut.