Guys: No Shirt, No Service – Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
Ax Me About Ebonics
Boldly Going Nowhere
Cat: The Other White Meat
Don’t Be Sexist – Bitches Hate That
So many men, so few who can afford me.
Saw It … Wanted It … Had A Fit … Got It!
Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
If You Drink Don’t Park, Accidents Cause people
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant
Thank You For Pot Smoking
Impotence: Nature’s Way Of Saying “No Hard Feelings”
If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer
(Biker version) If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Horn Broken … Watch For Finger
If You’re Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass
I Have The Body Of A God … Buddha
Coffee, chocolate, men … some things are just better rich
Don’t treat me any differently than you would the Queen
Guys have feelings too, But … who cares?
And your point is?
Next mood swing: 6 minutesTwo couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave’s wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table as he emerged rather red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, “Did you see anything under the table that you liked?” Jeff admitted, “Well, yes I did.” She said “you can have it, but it will cost you $100.” After thinking about it for a minute, Jeff indicates that yes, he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons (and Jeff doesn’t), that he should come to their house around 2 p.m. on Friday. Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2 p.m. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left. Dave came home about 6 p.m. and asked his wife, “Did Jeff come by this afternoon?” Totally shocked, Sandy replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.” Next Dave asked, “Did Jeff give you $100?” Sandy thought, ‘Oh hell, he knows!’ Reluctantly she said, “Yes, he did give me $100.” “Good,” says Dave. “Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me and said that he’d stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It’s so good to have a friend you can trust.”