(and I’m not talkin’ aluminum)
It was just about this time last year when I made the decision to dip. I’m talking about the recycling bin. The one filled with old boyfriends who just happen to be in town—single and horny.
You know you’ve done it too. Sometimes it’s just too easy. You already know the person, know their talents, and know that neither of you will have to explain your wants and needs to each other. Plus, winters in a ski town can get chilly.
In my last dipping endeavor, things went awry as they often do. Sure I got laid for a few weeks or months, but then those pesky bad habits rear their ugly heads. (The habits that caused the break-up to begin with) And, then there’s always that horrible discovery that as a woman, I actually have feelings. God, I hate that.
I look at it like this: old boyfriends are like those old jeans you never got around to throwing away. When you run across them in the bottom of your drawer, you say, “I can’t believe I haven’t worn these in so long; they look so good on me.” Then, after wearing them a while, you remember why you shoved them out of sight. They always come undone, they ride up your ass, and they’re just plain stifling. But it takes wearing them again to remember you made the right decision.
That’s why dipping into the recycling bin can be a good thing. You get the nookie you needed. You remember all his quirks that drive you crazy. And now (as my friend Pete says), you’ve got the “hi-pro-glow” to go out and get the guy you really want.
So ladies, as the winter weeks roll on, remember your options. There’s really nothing wrong with being an environmentalist when it comes to romance. But look at it for what it is. Guard your heart, get what you need, and get out. You’ll know when it’s time to throw out those old jeans and get some new ones that treat you right.