If you need to have one, there may be a problem. I’m speaking of the dreaded RDT. The Relationship Definition Talk. Ugh. Some folks seem to crave a “definition” of their relationships. But for those of us who like to live in the present, the thought of an RDT makes us vomit.
Typical RDT in progress:
GIRL: “I just want to know where we are.”
BOY: “We’re in bed about to have sex.”
GIRL: “No, I mean, where we’re going with this relationship.”
Talk about a downer. Sure fire way to ruin a perfectly good erection. That’s what I say.
It seems there is always one person in a relationship who needs to talk about “where we’re going” or “what this is really all about.” While women are usually singled out as the RDT instigators, I personally know of several sensitive males who have had to bring up the touchy subject.
A close friend tells me that she has never, in her 30 years, been an RDTer. “I refuse to be the one,” she said. “It’s the girls who always have to be in a relationship who pull that definition crap.” This comment may have some truth to it.
No statistics were readily available for this article —- but some, like my friend Krys, believe men might be more prone to RDT’s than women. Her reasoning? “Well, you don’t hear women writing songs like ‘Lost in Love’ for fucks sake.” My apologies to Air Supply.
The question remains: is there any way to avoid a Relationship Definition Talk? Perhaps not. In a perfect world, we could hang out with someone, have fun, have sex, go on adventures, and never have to categorize it. Alas, we all know this only goes so long before someone ruins it with “the talk.”
Another friend suggests disguising your RDT with some hip slang to soften the blow. For instance: “Yo, yo, what up? Word. You an me, we should keep kickin’ it in the sack cuz I think, yo, like, you’re a jive babe, ya know.”
Sure it sounds lame, especially coming from an Ivy League graduate, but it just might work.
Otherwise, ride the Sky train—keep on keepin’ on, and have the dude sweat it out with the definitions and the words. When they do come out, it will be up to you, the chick, to take him or leave him.