Posted on: February 21, 2001 Posted by: transmun Comments: 0

Bush is spanning the globe, confusing everyone with his no-shit Sherlock philosophies and Dubya dipshitisms. Wild Utah has devised a little game to help us all make it through the next four years.

A popular saying in Colorado is, “Sweet liquor eases the pain.” So when Bush gets on TV to ramble and improvise, follow these directions to avoid discomfort or any violent thoughts.

Pick one person to be the MoronMaster. This person will be the final judge for any discrepancies or missed drinking opportunities. Anyone may suggest to drink, but the MoronMaster will officiate over all suggestions.

The Rules:

Drink if George W. Bush does any of the following:

-says any made-up word, especially the words “non-sensical” or “verbosity”
-gives a thumbs up for any reason
-says the syllables “dub-ya”
-mumbles anything contradictory like, “it’s time for the human race to enter the solar system”
-says something painfully obvious like, “for NASA, space is still a high priority”
-includes the word “opportunity” in any sentence

Chug if George W. Bush does any of the following:

-says the word “abortion,” in reference to anything
-makes any reference to (even seemingly) personal agendas
-says something is “good for the economy”
-utters the words “The President,” whether referring to himself or anyone else

Throughout the game, please keep this in mind:
“Come the millennium, month 12, in the home of greatest power, the village idiot will come forth to be acclaimed the leader.” -Nostradamus 1555