It has been known for many years that
sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study
of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original
and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent............... 387 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 22 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection............. 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris......... 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot..... 192 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary.............................. 112 Calories
69 lying down......................... 178 Calories
69 standing up........................ 312 Calories
Wheelbarrow.......................... 386 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 400 Calories
Italian chandelier.................... 972 Calories
ORGASMING:
Real............................................ 112 Calories
Fake........................................... 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging............... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately............. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......... .....................816
Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................... 36 Calories
30-39 years.................................. 80 Calories
40-49 years................................ 124 Calories
50-59 years................................ 972 Calories
60-69 years.............................. 2916 Calories
70 and over.......... Results are still pending
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.......................................... 32 Calories
In a hurry..................................... 98 Calories
With her father
knocking at the door.............. 1218 Calories
With your wife
knocking at the door.............. 3521 Calories
