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College Speak
Put a few thousand drunk and horny teenagers in a dirty-ass dorm for 4 years, and you get a new language with its own terms.
Asshole - A simple drinking game that involves a hierarchy of players from president to asshole.
Beer Bitch - The person sitting closest to the cooler or refridgerator at a party whose job it is to grab another beer when yours runs out. The most important person in drinking games espically for the president and asshole.
Beer Goggles - One’s perception when under the influence of alcohol. Often causes unattractive people to look hot, long distances to look jumpable, and break dancing moves to look easy.
Beer Muscles - A sudden increase in courage and combative abilities directly linked to alcohol consumption.
Beer Pong - A game played on a Ping Pong table in which cups of beer are set at each end. The object is to throw a ping pong ball into the opponents cup and then they drink from that cup...mutliple cups are used and when all the cups are finished on one side....they are declared the looser and have to drink all the winners beer too....works good with girls who don’t want to drink too much.
Beer Slut - A women at the party who will get on any guy that is providing free beer.
BFE - Butt Fucking Egypt- really far from campus, and/or civilization.
Booze Snooze - A nap taken early in the afternoon to prepare for the night’s party, after you’ve already been drinking. (THIS IS HOW I GOT ANY SLEEP IN COLLEGE!!! - JILL)
Breaking the Seal - Going pee pee for the first time while drinking. Once the seal is broken, restroom trips become much more frequent.
Butterface - A girl who has a great body but not an attractive face. Comes from... "Everything looks good on her, but her face.”
Camel Toe - When a girl’s labia hangs out on either side of her panties or swinsuit. The female version of Hanging Brains.
Cash Cow - An ATM.
Clock in - (also Punch the clock) Visit a boyfriend/girlfriend out of a combination of obligation and fear. For example, “Hey, I’d love to drink and throw stuff off the roof with you guys, but I have to clock in with the boss or she’ll cut me off.”
Crack the Spine - Opening a book for the first time. Often doesn’t take place until the night before finals. Commonly used during bragging sessions when someone is selling back a book claiming never to have opened it.
Deja Booty - 1) a situation in which an individual reunites with a former fling in a seemingly random - and often ironic - twist of fate probably because they drank too much GoldSchalger that night with Cool Jay down the hall.
Dropping Ass - An extremely violent bowel movement after a weekend of bad bar food and beer, “Don’t go in the bathroom, I just dropped ass like Hiroshima.”
Fifteen MinuteRule - If a professor is over 15 minutes late, the class may leave and not expect any repercussion. If the class is taught by a TA, the time is shortened considerably.
Flip ‘N F*ck - A small futon thingy-that is a small uncomfortable seat and folds out into a small uncomfortable mattress. Despite the name, rarely is it employed in bumpin’ uglies.
Frontload - To drink before an event. Often because: you are underage, alcohol is too expensive at this place, or it is too boring to be sober when you show up (i.e. class).
Get the Heisman - To get one’s advances rejected. Comes from the stiff arm pose of the Heisman Trophy.
Got Five on it - A rule that allows an individual to leave his/her seat in a room and return within five minutes and still retain rights to sit there.
Hallcest - The dangerous act of getting with someone in your hall freshman year.
Hang Brains - When a guy’s testicles can be seen poking out of the legs of his shorts or swim trunks. The male version of the Camel Toe. Also known as Showin’ Scrot.
Hitting the Snooze Bar - To continue to hook up with someone even though you should really break up with them. Prolonging the inevitable.
Hoover - When a beer is spilled, the spiller must drink the beer from whatever surface it is on-regardless of any sanitation concerns.
Jump On the Grenade - When two groups of the opposite sex meet, one “jumps on the grenade” by talking to (possibly hooking up with) the ugly one of the other group in order to ensure the success of the rest of one’s group. This is a step further than Setting the Pick.
Lock ‘n’ Towel - The process of locking your dorm door and wedging a towel under the crack in preparation of hotboxing.
MDA - (Mysterious Drinking Accident) What happens when you get drunk and hurt yourself in some way, but don’t remember it. Evidence of MDA’s includes cuts and bruises and NO MEMORY how you got them.
Parent-proof - Prepare a room for a visit from the parental units. Usually includes hiding alcohol, birth control, controlled substances, poor test grades, and dirty dishes.
Party Foul - An incident that goes against the rules of the party. For example, spilling your glass of red wine on the Dean’s white carpet during an elegant mixer.
Sausage Party - A gathering of many more men than women.
Sexiled - When someone is forced to sleep outside his/her room when his/her roommate wants to have sex in the room. Also Get the boot.
Wake and Bake - The habit of starting one’s morning with a toke.
Walk of Shame - The long, humilating walk accross campus in the same thing you had on last night after hooking up that night.
Wounded soldier - A full beer found when cleaning up the next day after a party.
Xactlies - pronounced zact-lees) When your mouth smells ‘xactly like your ass.
Zamboni - A roll of paper towels or toilet paper used to mop upspilled fluids. Particularly helpful during drinking games.