The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you sober up when you realize it was your money to start with.
2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3) Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
4) Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5) Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
6) Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7) Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
8) Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
9) Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10) Glibido: All talk and no action.
11) Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
12) And the pick of the literature: Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Tommy’s additions:
Palcohol: The extra beer your buddy keeps in his fridge for you.
Hangovert: When you can fool no one by pretending that you drank within your limits the night before.
Hickup Line: Your best attempt to get laid gets broken by some volcanic beer bubble.
Private Club Membershit: All the bullshit associated with Utah bars.
Normon: A typical Mormon who believes by some global standard that he is “normal,” and that people outside Utah do not think he’s strange.